Choosing Your Friends Based on Their Amazing Race Partner Eligibility

There are a few common traits people look for when choosing their friends — loyalty, honesty, a good sense of humor, etc. Sure, those are important, but is it enough? No, it’s not.

I saw an episode of The Amazing Race once and the challenges the teams go through seem very trying. If you want to win, you not only have to work together, but you have to make sure you don’t kill each other.

Much like a Swiss army knife or the stuff I cram into my purse, I need to know my friends are ready for any challenge at any given moment. Choosing friends based on how eligible they would be as my partner on the show seems like a fair assessment, right? I may like all of them, but if we were in a foreign land together, would we both make it out alive? I’d like to think so!

Amazing Race

If you can survive a few weeks on this international adventure with your best bud, you have a definite friend for life. Here are some of my qualifications in case you’d like to audit your own friendships (listed in no particular order):

Height: I stand at a tall 5’2″, which is great for crawling under fallen trees in the woods, but not great when trying to reach for supplies in the top cupboard. There’s not a lot of time to waste when you’re racing and I won’t have time to find a ladder. You either need to be tall enough to get me things or be strong enough to give me a boost.

Navigation Skills: This one is important. A lovely Sunday drive can turn very quickly into a chaotic nightmare of anxiety. If it were up to me, I would have one hand on the wheel and one hand using Google Maps on my phone, eliminating the need for a human navigator. But I can’t rely on that anymore, especially since laws are getting harsher on using your cell phone while driving. So, I will need a person who knows to tell me when to turn before the turn, not after I’ve missed it. I need you to focus, Karen!

Eating Habits: When going out to restaurants, I’ve found most of my friends love the foods I hate and vice versa. Will you please get these pickles away from my fries immediately? Great, I will take those tomatoes from you. Using this foolproof logic, it’s safe to assume my friends would be courageous enough to tackle the bug eating challenges. This season’s cast includes famous competitive eater, Joey Chestnut, who I can see being a great teammate as I would force him to eat everything. Don’t give me that look — you’d do the same thing.

Bar Trivia Knowledge: If you’ve ever been to trivia night at a bar, you know the questions can be from all over the place. Do you know who was the leader of the wolves in The Jungle Book? In the sport of Judo, what color belt follows an orange belt? In Greek mythology, how many graces are there? This kind of information is invaluable because you never know when a seemingly useless nugget of trivia becomes useful! (Answers: Akala, green, and three.)

Tetris: If we need to pack small backpacks or a large U-Haul, will you utilize every nook and cranny so we can bring all the things? As stated above, I like to carry lots of things with me all the time. YOU NEVER KNOW.

Getting On My Level: This seems pretty self-explanatory. Are you on my level? No? Well, I need you there. Get on my level.

This list is a good place to start, but believe me, I will come up with more items. Now thinking about it, this is a good list to find your life partner! Maybe I’ll make “WWMARPD?” (“What would my Amazing Race partner do?”) bracelets.

Do you watch The Amazing Race? What would be on your list of traits? Want a bracelet?

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