My Dearest Space Heater,
I avoided you for a long time. I was told the many ways in which you could hurt me. I had heard sometimes you’re clumsy, tend to fall over, and set things on fire. We all make mistakes.
When I moved into my first apartment, though, I decided it was finally time to give you a chance. I read your instructions very diligently. So many warnings that were indicative of your past transgressions:
Never leave space heater unattended.
Don’t put clothes on space heater.
Don’t use space heater to dry your hair.
Place space heater in a low traffic area rather than your roommate’s doorway.
Do not operate underwater. Space heater will not warm a hot tub.
While still cautious, I took the leap of faith and plugged you in for the first time. Sparks flew (magical, not electric) and I knew I was in love!
Space Heater, you were merely misunderstood. You are a cozy comfort that I brought with me many places. You’ve warmed me in my apartment when I was cold. You warmed me in an office when everyone refused to acknowledge that no one works well when it’s 65 degrees inside. (I don’t want to hear about your hot flashes, Tammy.)
After moving into a house, I thought I wouldn’t need you since we have a big furnace now.
Well, the furnace just died.
I went digging in the garage looking for you, my old friend. I found you under the stacks of other things I don’t use anymore, like CDs and a Margaritaville blender. You didn’t deserve that.
You came to my rescue, once again. I can close my door and create the perfect sauna only you can provide. Thank you for only providing comfort, and never a burn.